Holidays can be SO depressing!

This past January, I lost my Grandma. Next to my mother, she was the most important and influential person in my life. Although I did miss the memos that she tried to send to me. Like the one that woman take care of the house while the men work. Umm no. Or the cooking constantly (all four meals, the man never does)...yeah that has JUST started in this house. OR the most important one from her...never go to bed with a sink full of dishes. Yeah I think I am guilty of this every single night! 

This is the first year that I am without her for Christmas. I live on the other side of the country now from my family but this year...I can't even call her. I won't hear her laugh. I won't hear her telling her how much I mean to her. I have nothing this year. I didn't think it would have affected me as much as it has, but it has. I hope that morning as we open our presents, she is there. I hope that she is there as she watches me tackle cooking my first ham. I hope shes there to watch her Angel (Little Man) open his gifts. 

Thinking about all of that though, makes me smile. Because for the first time in 8 years, it will be the closest shes been to me for Christmas.

Are you missing anyone for the holidays this year?